Weekday Chaplain, Weekend Officiant

I am Omar Bayramoglu, one of Muslim Wedding Service’s newest officiants. During the week, I am a chaplain and on weekends, I marry people. It is a unique experience. In 2018, one of my sisters was preparing for her wedding and she wanted Chaplain Khalid Latif to do her nikah (marriage ceremony). When I spoke to him, he asked, “Why don’t you do it?” I thought to myself, “good question.” I was never one for weddings and also realized how complex it could be after experiencing my own. Traveling for school kept me busy enough.

Fast forward three years or so, and I was approached by Ebadur Rahman, a close friend of mine working with MWS, about serving as an officiant for them as well. I thought, “why not? It would be an experience.” One thing led to another and here I am working for MWS, a company cofounded by the same Chaplain Khalid Latif from three years earlier. Now I really am doing it myself. 

Officiating a nikah is interesting. I seldom get nervous speaking in public settings, especially with the right amount of preparation. Due to COVID-19, nikahs have been happening online for the most part. As the first few nikahs came and went, I would get nervous! Ironic. Pacing around the apartment, my wife would grab me and bring me back to reality. Before things got off the ground, I had almost no idea what I was getting myself into. However, when I received the MWS officiant training materials, I was quite relieved. Further, Chaplain Latif and the team laid out the entire process of coordinating a nikah through a Zoom workshop that I and several other officiants attended.  They made the process very easy for a nervous wreck like myself. From one nikah to the next, I gained more confidence and continued to remind myself, “It’s not about you. Relax.” It has just been me working from there. 

So how does the process actually work, you ask? After we get paired with a couple, there begins the process of getting ready for the big day. It is here where I have the chance as the officiant to get to know who will start the rest of their lives together. The nervous phone calls and questions that come show me that I have no reason to freak out. I laugh at myself. It is something else to watch two people who love each other come together. The miracle of souls coming to make something greater is other worldly. As I type this, I think about the couples whose weddings I had the chance to officiate and how they’re doing now. One of my first nikahs was with this beautiful young couple. Every few days, I would get a text and subsequent phone call with a random question. There were a few speakerphone talks about specifics and exactly what they needed from me. Eventually, a nikah was prepared where everyone was happy. It was here where I realized that it’s the job of an officiant to bring the vision of the couples into reality. Each of us officiants have our own twist and touch that can be contributed. With more variety, MWS can be the best place for officiants around. The job is important. As my colleague Nora wrote, to have women fill this role also makes it important. Marriage is a communal event that we all need to be a part of whether working with the couple to ensure things are run smoothly or being there on the sidelines praying for everyone. 

The MWS experience has been special thus far. Being present for a couple’s coming together is an honor and privilege. I may have not been the one doing the nikah for my sister three years ago or so, but I am now there for my brothers and sisters in humanity. Through this, I have also deepened my appreciation of my own marriage and frequently think back to the day of my own nikah. I am excited for the future.